Warning: Blogging is dangerous to your self-esteem
Posted by: Roy in Reflections, blog, thought & opinions, tags: blogging, danger, hazard, resiliency, self-esteem, strenght, stress, therapy, tough, vulnerableBlogging is supposed to be a therapeutic thing. You write about stuffs you think you know best… about your opinion on certain issues… or maybe even just an anecdote of what happened to you these last few days… about how you feel at the moment, just release all those pent-up emotions inside.
who would ever think that blogging can be dangerous to your self-esteem?
After making your post, you move back to get a better view of your latest creation. You’re very proud that you have come out with yet another great post. At least, personally you think so.
And after making your post, you feel relieved of your stress, hyped-up even. It’s like you have accomplished something great with your latest post.
But somebody got better ideas.
While you were having your much deserved snack after whacking your brains to create your post, somebody comes with the main purpose of creating havoc on your masterpiece.
After getting your fill, you went back to your blog only to find the following comments:
Wow! This could have been a great post, except that you don’t seem to understand the rule on subject-verb agreement. You don’t have ‘s’ on your verbs even if your subject is only singular! Hahaha!
Man! Don’t you know the difference between they’re and their?
Thanks for your post, I could use a good laugh (and your post wasn’t supposed to be funny)
And those were the easy comments.
Some would take the freedom to ‘write between the lines’ just to justify their insinuations in their comment. Most often, it is something which is really far from the idea in your post.
What can you do? NOTHING.
Sadly that’s the truth. At the most, you can set your comments under moderation. But that won’t prevent those comments from coming in.
Yes, you can delete them, but you have to read them first before you even decide to do so. Then, they have already done their job – to assassinate your self-esteem.
Such is the risk of blogging.
You can either take it all in, or retreat and stop blogging altogether.
The latter obviously isn’t the way to your growth. Because no matter where you go, you’ll encounter such demolition job — even in the real world. So, are you going to retreat everytime?
Yes, I do have my share those creatures – the English-teacher wannabe’s, the demi-gods of blogging, the Mr.-know-it-all walking encyclopedia, the I-don’t-have-anything-better-do-so-I’ll-just-lambast-your-post reader, the cynics, the skeptics… name it, I’ve seen it.
I would lie if I say that they didn’t get into my system. They did, they always do. And I admit, they tend to slow me down. Yes, they slow me down, but they definitely won’t make me stop.
I would see them maybe as nothing but a bad case of diarrhea that you need to flush out of your system. And once all the toxic substances are out, then you’ll feel light and free again, raring to blog for another day.
And there’s one adage that always comes to my mind when I think about this thing – “what won’t kill you will only make you stronger.”
Yes, blogging is therapeutic. But be warned, it is not entirely for the faint-hearted. It can be hazardous to your self-esteem.
The best you can do — be wary of what you write.
Heck! Just keep on blogging. They will always find some way to get to you anyway.
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That’s it. I’m done with blogging. Enough already na. Ahahaha
I was thinking along the same lines. Wondering will it make a good post. Hmmn. I was beaten again to the draw by the great Jedi Master Roy.
Well, there’s always a next time.
Hey, I like how you resolve the problem of detractors in your post. Very levelheaded. Kung ako siguro nagsulat nito nagra wrap up na pumuputok pa ang baril ko. Ahahaha.
Perfect! This post is so vintage Roy. “,)
hahaha! I’m sure you can always come with a different version… and a different angle… ikaw pa!
writing about it is an option… but when you do, you should be prepared for a rebuttal
true! minsan talaga naiisip ko yun kahit di ko naman talga kinoconsider angsarili ko na writer. and i want to quote you on this one “Heck! Just keep on blogging. They will always find some way to get to you anyway.”
Hi Badong!
tama, sulat lang sulat.
salamat ulit sa pagbisita
Roy,
What I don’t understand about those readers is their tenacity to write down their correction on the comment’s section when, they can just send a private mail to you. They could at least show some respect in that matter, right? Now you know how I want my readers to correct me for those grammatical errors I commit. hehhe
Z
they can do that Z, but they don’t want to. because it won’t have an effect on the blogger and they don’t want to miss the chance of getting attention lol
don’t worry about your posts Z, you can always rely on your ‘poetic license’
Roy,
I hope this has nothing to do with me???he he he..ouch…kidding.
In such circumstances like the one mentioned, I just remember that I know myself, and if ever I have committed an error, it was not because I didn’t know it, but because I had no time to proofread before posting; or I may have read through my brain and not through my eyes, etc.
Many seasoned writers print their work in order to “notice’ the errors; some read the words backwards so their brain would process them properly.
No one is perfect Roy - as I always say, and each one of us should tolerate each other’s imperfections.
If someone is a true friend, he would send you a PM about whatever errors you have committed, and not post the correction in your comment section - unless you have specifically stated so.
Keep writing! I remain your loyal reader.
Only insecure persons do that…lol
Don’t worry Jena, it has nothing to do with you, (or anybody)
otherwise, nakatanggap ka na ng e-mail sa akin lol
that’s main message of this post - keep on writing, keep on being influential lol
“Heck! Just keep on blogging. They will always find some way to get to you anyway.”
So true! I was just doing a comment awhile ago in Sonny’s blog. The fact is, whatever good stuff we put out there, the audience will always be divided 50/50. We cannot please everybody but we can always give our best. I remember telling Jan about the righteous web. And it’s hard to avoid people who believes that they are always right.
So, like what you’ve just said, just keep on blogging. The more attention you give them, the more they think that it really affects you.
Hi Roy. I’ve been blogging for six years now and for new bloggers i just share with them the blogging principle i’ve learned since the start: “We write (or blog) to express, not to impress.” I think i have survived those “jerks” who seem to look like square-faced grammar books online, and just focus on what my motivations in blogging are.
PS. i was moved by the feature in Rated K re: you and the last days of your wife. be strong. your kids look up to you.
Jon
true, true. and of course there is always the danger of sharing too much information. but hey, if we love blogging, then we just keep doing it
balang araw, we will be great at this 
True. That’s the danger of being too public but if we really love blogging despite of the criticisms we’ll get used to it. Numb. Yes - I agree “We blog to express and NOT to IMPRESS” some newbie bloggers these days are blogging just to impress everyone. It’s just sad.
meet with these kinds of guys roy? hmmm…im gonna kick their ass! ehehhe. indeed blogging is not for the faint-hearted. stick to your gun despite all these bullies bugging you.
just write, to hell with them, ahahha!
@robangeles
hello Cabalen!
Bingo! Even a well-researched post will have its naysayers. So we just need to keep on doing our stuff
@aajao
thanks for putting your name - Jon. I would have a hard time pronouncing aajao
I agree, with you - focus
thanks for appreciating my story
@Dinah
I love that! “balang araw, we will be great at this”
magdilang-angel ka sana
@beejing
Hi! I love the title of your blog - Get A Life!
you are right, soon we will get used to all those ‘attacks’
@elmot
I’m sure you’re going their asses bro!
takot lang nila sa yo
I do agree. There are times that blogging seems tiring because there are bloggers who belittles a newbie for some reasons that they only know.
Cruel world.
Hi Snow, such exists. not only in blogging
wag na lang natin silang papansinin
there are people na automatic na sa kanila yung pagiging grammar police. maybe because it’s what they do daily, like they really are english teachers, editors, etc… and when they join the blogging bandwagon and in our network too, they keep us on our toes.
and if we are lurkers of their blogs, we’ll ask, what will he/she write next? Was his latest post directed at me? minsan nakakapraning and yeah, they’ll slow us down if we are faint-hearted.
for me, we are all entitled to our own opinions. And a good one should not be ignored. but if that was meant to put one down, then it’s a different thing. Giyera na susunod nyan. hehe.
Roy,
Way to go! Keep blogging!
@Ceblogger
natawa naman ako dun, hehe…”Giyera na susunod nyan”
@Jena
thanks! as always
LOL. Cabalen kayo? haha. i studied in San Fernando in my high school years.
aajao is pronounced as /a-JAW/. so there. you may call me “jon” for easier recall.
hi Jon!
so aajao is easy to pronounce after all. of course, Jon is easier to remember
really? You studied in San Fernando?
I just noticed now, for your blog URL, your surname is Magat. If I’m not mistaken, Magat is a Kapampangan surname, right?
Cabalen!
Just keep on punching! Matutumba din mga yan. Patudturan mu la boy!!! Sagapan mu la!
Hello, my first time to visit and comment here. You have a informative blog pare
Anyway, tama ka Roy kasi sometimes you have nothing to write or your mind has been block kaya it affected your self-esteem. What I do is just get some get away walk or jog for a mile or two to make it fresh my mind and be active again to write some ideas.
Best regards,
Julius
I agree with you Roy and to Zorlone’s comment. Ganyan naman talaga ang buhay. Kahit naman sa work meron niyan. People who loves finding mistakes in anyone and making fun of it.
yup. true-blooded Cabalen. my adolescent years were spent in Minalin. kase palipat-lipat kami ng tirahan. good thing, i stayed long enough in Pampanga to learn (and still remember) Kapampangan.
@Rob
hahaha! mipakaili na ku man king comment mu bro
@Julius
thanks for dropping by!
tama ka, exercise can do wonders! yan ang kulang ako, hehe…
@fatherlyours
kasama na talaga sa buhay yun sir Mon, nasa atin na lang kung paano natin sasaluhin
@aajao
sabi ko na e, nung mapansin ko apelyido mo Kapampangan ka. You might appreciate my Kapampangan blog then
Magtatagalog na nga lang ako para walang mali, hehehe. Ang alam ko, kaya din ako nag-bblog para mapractice ang writing skills ko kung meron man, kaya malamang marami ding errors sa mga sinusulat ko pero I always try to improve, learn from other blogs like yours (naks!). Constructive criticisms are always welcome, and harsh words should not stop you from writing. And I believe that no one should influence you on what you want to write.
@Badet
natawa ako, hehe… pero wag ka, may mga pumupuna rin tagalog, hehe..
tama ka, blogging is a good way to hone our writing skills. yung mga criticisms, constructive and otherwise, kasama na lahat yun
As a card-carrying member of the Grammar Police, I apologize for my colleagues who do not understand the concept of “tact.” There are some folks who just cannot figure out how to give unsolicited, constructive criticism in a palatable way. And a few zealots out there really do view subject-verb manglers as a lower life form; they cannot find it in their hearts to be instructive, rather than destructive. “The earth must be purged of these heathens!” they cry. Ignore them. They’re just frustrated and angry and think they ought to have real jobs in publishing, but instead they are stuck working as teachers’ aides in a fifth grade classroom. Or they have great jobs in corporate America, where they are daily assaulted by the latest corporate buzzwords until their heads spin and they have to grab the nearest trashcan to throw up in it. Don’t be too hard on them; try to understand their pain and be empathetic.
Some of us do have a real concern for the sheer volume of unadulterated crap posted on the Internet; we fear that it will, one day, overload the hamsters and bring the whole system crashing to its knees. But my friends in IT assure me that they can always find more hamsters, and for every exhausted hamster, there’s a gerbil just licking its little paws, itching for its chance on the wheel.
Seriously, though…there are people who want to improve their own writing and assume you want the same thing. There are people who blog for reasons other than therapy, who assume you must want the same things out of blogging that they do. There are people who simply cannot let a good typo slip by unnoticed. (I’m one of them, but only if the typo makes me giggle. Some are just too inadvertently funny to pass up. “They’re” vs. “their” isn’t usually one of them. The time a friend wrote that something would “eliminate duplicity” when she meant “eliminate duplication” - that was funny, because it cast the rest of what she wrote in an entirely different light.)
When correcting someone’s grammar, it would be kinder to do so in private. You wouldn’t point and laugh and announce to the world that a woman at a party had come out of the bathroom with her skirt tucked into the back of her pantyhose, surely? You’d take her aside and tell her discreetly (I hope). On the other hand, not all bloggers make it easy to contact them by email…
Roy, I’ve added you into my links.
hope you do the same.
@Holly - Very well said.
I have a best friend from Guagua, I think. She’s still based in Angono, Rizal. From my conversations with her, this sentence got stuck in my mind. Pardon my ignorance of your language. I’m writing it now as I remembered it and as it sounded to me.
“Keng leon keng tigre ecu tatakot que ka pa?!
Please correct me, Roy. I need to commit it to memory with correct spelling this time. “,)
[...] of The Struggling Blogger has written a post on the dangers of blogging to your self-esteem. While this current episode in my blogging has only raised my hackles, I consider that it may [...]
Jan,
Roy is slow to the draw, so let me see. Roy , where are you? Eating some sisig? Not sure though….”que ka pa” - “keka pa”. That’s a good quotation.
In the end, no matter what people say, it’s only us who know ourselves. If we’re certain of our motivations then, what others say -no matter how negative it is - won’t bother us a bit!
Roy, Agyu tanangan!
Sir Roy, since i know my weakness (grammatically challenged), i am ready to be embarrassed.
As Jena Isle said “no matter how negative it is - won’t bother me a bit!
As I said, I am not a writer. I just forced myself to write and hoping along the way I will learn from the masters (Geronimo, Zolone, Roy) and edit my post as i go along.
Thanks for the share.
@beejing
done!
@Jan and Jena (wow! double J!
)
I believe the correct phrase was:
“Que leon, que tigre, e ku tatacut! Queca pa?!”
Translation:
Tagalog: “Kung sa leon o tigre, hindi ako natatakot! Sa ‘yo pa?!”
English: “Lions and tigers don’t scare me! Would I even be bothered by your insiginificant exisitence! Whose absence or presence doesn’t really make any difference to me. So why would I even bother if I my tweets is causing you any irritation when you can always NOT READ them. Now, get off my back and jump on the nearest cliff!”
@darbs
thanks for dropping by. Grammar is hardly the subject. We all have lapses, I know I do - lots of them. When I go back to my previous posts, I always find something that I missed before.
ang haba ng english translation ni Roy, ah! yon ba yon? haha
@Jena: Thanks for the insight. “,)
@Darbs: Pwersahang English lang po ito kasi required ng AdSense. Roy, required pa ng AdSense ang English blog? Nagrelax na ba sila restriction. Besides, every day is a new learning experience, Darbs. Yun ang kagandahan ng language. It’s evolving - di dapat tayo natutulog sa pansitan, sabi nga nila.
@Roy: Parang Spanish na un sentence na yun? Sa spelling na lang eh. Anyway, thanks sa pagpapaunlak. Libreng editing. ahahaha.
Roy, baka tumalon nga sa cliffs un tao. Konsensya ko pa. Ahahaha. I feel better now, Roy. “,)
Roy, at last nakakita na ako ng trackback, ganun pala un? Was it automatically generated in your own end? Sensya na po - bagong salta sa Wordpress. ahahaha.
@ceblogger
hahaha! nakakaduda ba, hehe… parang Ramon Zamora style
@jan
yup. automatically generated yun, as long as naka-set yung blog to inform blogs that you linked
most of the Kapampangan words originated from the Spanish language, kaya ganun
Sir Roy, salamat sa moral support. But again, I’ll do my best do to my writing free of “error” as i could,
Hindi man kasing galing ung pag express ko sa mga most influential bloggers as mentioned above (tres musketeers) but i will do it in my own special way.
by the way, kung totoong may mag comment man at sabing as you said,
doon sa blog ko please welcome po sila. you can educate me too, if you wanted to.
hinding hindi ko po mamasamain un. please, you are welcome. pasalamat pa nga ako kung gawin nyu yun dahil palagay ko kailangan ko din un.
but hindi pwersahan ito. pakiusap lang kung puedi. Salamat po sa lahat na nakaintindi.
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